The Golden Phoenix
by HoshiHikari
Summary: Miaka exchanges letters with someone “back home” during her and the Seishi’s journey to obtain the Shinzaho. The story is mostly told through Miaka and her correspondent’s point of view. ReadReview
1. Chapter 1

The Golden Phoenix 

**Written by**: Hoshihikari4ever

**Summary: **Miaka exchanges letters with someone "back home" during her and the Seishi's journey to obtain the Shinzaho. The story is mostly told through Miaka and her correspondent's point of view.

**Spoilers Warning: **the whole series….major spoilers from season 2 and up and Fushigi Yuugi Gaiden novels….Suzaku Hi Den (Hotohori's novel….I only read the summary so please forgive me if it is inaccurate, it would help if anyone can be so kind to give me a translation of it in English!)

**Author Note:** Remember to check out my bio, which I would update often.  This story was inspired by Kimi-chan3 and her story  "The Letter" The idea was also inspired by the letters that Houki wrote to Nuriko during the willow's journey (letters found in Suzaku Hi Den).  If you are interested in the FY Gaiden novels, please tell me and I'll send a link.

**Please Read and Review! **

**Parings: **Miaka and Hotohori

Chapter 1 

            The emperor sighed as he watched the ship leave the harbor.  His hands held tightly onto a teddy bear.

            "Heika…shall we return to the palace sire?" one of the men who stood behind him spoke.  Hotohori sighed.  "Have a safe journey Miaka….May Suzaku be with you…." He stared at the place where the ship was, a black dot on the horizon. "Heika-sama?"  Hotohori turned his head to the man behind him.  "I said…shall we return to the palace?" The emperor stared once more at the ocean before him, before turning to leave, his advisors following closely behind him. 

~ 1 week later ~

            Palace life was heavy and stiff.  Everyone was worried about the Suzaku warriors.  No one had heard anything about them.  All was worried, but they were more worried about their emperor who seemed to have withdrawn within his room, and to everyone around him.

            Hotohori wondered aimlessly through the palace. He knew where he was going.  It had become a routine, a routine to spend the few time he had, locked inside the shrine of Suzaku, praying…praying for Miaka.

            _Suzaku, yet once again, I've been left behind on the journey.  I pray to thee, to protect to the one bestowed to you, the one who is destined to gain your power and save Konan._

_            If I could, if I was not tied down to my own burden…Suzaku, I would not leave Miaka for a second.  _

The emperor smiled.   He knew that he wasn't alone.  He could feel the presence of Suzaku surrounding him. 

            _Suzaku, I pray thee, show me a sign; give me something, anything that would assure me of Miaka's safe journey._

There was no reply.  The emperor sighed.  He knew it was time to leave.  Tomorrow, tomorrow he would return again, return to pray once more of his Miko's safe return.

The emperor headed towards his own quarters, through a path through his garden.  As he neared his room, he noticed a golden cage, one that hung at the ceiling of the porch.  He headed towards it, and opened the cage.  Inside was two golden phoenixes, one larger then the other; both pair of eyes was blood red. 

The two birds set themselves on the emperor's forearm, the arm of their master. 

"Ready for a long journey again?"  The younger one chirped excitedly.  "Good, wait here…I'll be back shortly…" He placed both backed into the cage, before entering his room.  When he came out an hour, in his fist was a roll of parchment.  He let the younger bird rest on his arm while he used his other to tie the parchment to the birds leg.  

"I want you to take this to the Suzaku no Miko…Miaka Yuki. I have no idea where she is, but I trust you to find her." The bird chirped. "If you do not find her, then return the letter…." The bird chirped again. "Do not let Miaka rest or do anything else till she has return a reply. I need a reply; I need to know how she is. Do anything you want….chirp loudly sing, dance…attack her or so…I need a reply, do you understand that?."  Hotohori patted its feathers before setting the phoenix off on its task.    

A long while later Hotohori went and such the cage with the other phoenix inside.  "One day….one day I shall send you away.  Your friend, that female phoenix is like Miaka…she is free.  However you and I are quite the same….both are birds locked up in a golden cage." The larger phoenix gave a sad cry.  "However I am sure, a day will come a day will come when I shall set you free….you and your friend…."

* * *

            The night sky hung over the Seishi and Miko.  The glistening stars lighted the night sky. 

            Miaka sighed as her gaze fell on the stars above her, landing on a certain, particular one.  A hand touched her shoulder.  She looked up to see Tamahome smiling down on her.  "We've made it to Hokkan at last…."

            _Yes, Hotohori…I've made it…I've finally made it to Hokkan.  Here I can find the Shinzaho…after that I can return to the palace…and summon Suzaku._

"Why don't you come back inside the ship.  That's where we would be spending the night…" Tamahome spoke softly.  "I know the ship isn't in great condition after Soi's attack, but it will have to do for tonight…." The Miko nodded.  "I'll be in, in a sec…"  Tamahome followed Miaka's gaze and noticed it was glued onto the star of the emperor.

            "Are you worried about him…." Miaka seemed startled, not by what he said but by the tone of jealousy in his voice.  "Do you wish he was here….with us now…?" The ogre asked. "Of course I'm worried…We're so far apart.  It is….it is the first time, we've been separated so far."  "Do…do…you wish…do you wish that he was here instead of….instead of me…." His voice was bitter.  Miaka gazed up at him, before pulling him close to her. "Of course not…..he's just a friend…..a friend, and to me, you are more then a friend….I love you….." "You do not love him?"  "I do…" Tamahome frowned. "Just in a friend way….I love all my Seishi in a friend way, I love you more then that….I don't get why you seem to doubt that." Miaka pulled apart, trying to figure out how, and why this started. Her eyes suddenly lit up as she thought she knew the reason why.

            "Is it because of that fight with Soi….is all this doubting just because you weren't the one who saved me…" "Why would it because of that…such a small thing….Why would I care who saves you…as long as you are safe" The tone of his voice betrayed him.  Miaka frowned. "Then why do you seem so worried….ever since my first battle….you've acted so bitter towards me…" Tamahome flung his arms in frustration. "Alright…alright…I admit it ok? I am jealous….I don't want anyone saving you but me, no one, especially not my rival!"  "Rival!!! You consider your emperor and Seishi a rival??" "Yes, loves rival! I'm afraid to lose you to him.  You have no idea what he literally did. It was like he was physically here, not only his spirit! Basically performed the impossible.  I know it's a holy sword and all, but there seems to be more to it.  I fear…I fear he has powers that he does not even know of!" his voice trailed off. The he picked up through gritted teeth. "Yes though we fight on the same side and all, I still consider him a strong love rival, one who I fear would tear us apart….I've seen the way you guys look….."

            Slap!! Miaka slapped his Seishi's face.  Tamahome reached up to massage his face, which was still stinging from pain.  "Baka!! Do you think….do you  really think I'm that kind of person?  Do you…Do you really think just because a man saves my life, I'll instantly fall for him! There's more to love then 'love at first sight'!" She paused.  Tamahome stood there, stiff.  Slowly the last words sunk in.   "Miaka…I…" but he did not finish, for Miaka waived him off.  "If you don't shape up, if you don't put up your act, then perhaps this relationship between us must end." She took in a breath.  "I refuse to go out with anyone…anyone who's going to mistreat my friends!"  "Miaka I…"

            A sharp cry cut off Tamahome.  He stopped talking, and both of them stared up into the night sky. Something…something was soaring down from the sky above.  As it flew closer, a bird came into view.  The bird swooped down above Miaka, but before it touched her, it flew upwards again.  This happened several times.  Miaka stood there, wondering what was going on.  She glanced at Tamahome who was staring coldly at her.  "Are you going to just stand there and watch this bird attack me!?"  Tamahome nodded.  Then in a cold voice he spoke.  "Why don't you pull out that sword of his and swing at it.  Maybe some maricle would happen and this time prince charming would magically appear out of thin air and rescue you from….let me see…an attacking bird…!" Then he burst into a fit of hysterical laugher.  "Fine!!  Fine! Be that way!  I don't need you anyways!  Why don't you just leave!  I can find the Sinzaho alone!  I don't need you!!"  Without glancing back at Tamahome, or the ship, Miaka ran off into the night, trying to rid herself of the attacking bird. 

Miaka ran and ran, until finally the ship was off quite a distance.  She stopped and panted hard, now noticing that the bird was not attacking her anymore. Instead it was perched before her, staring at her, with those blood red orbs. 

"What do you want from me" Miaka asked, though she knew perfectly well that no bird would understand a human.  To her surprise the bird gave a cry of warmth and hope.  It hopped closer to her so that they were only inches apart. It gave another cry and fly onto her shoulders, snuggling its her on her neck, in a very friendly sort of way. This confused Miaka the most.  

_What is going on here? What does this bird want? One minute its attacking me, the next, filling my body with warmth and comfort._

The bird finally flew off Miaka and landed at a respectful distance.  It slightly lowered its head.  When it looked up, it held out one leg.  It was then that Miaka noticed a piece of parchment tied to it. Miaka looked at it and then at the bird.  Curiously she reached out and untied it.  The bird waited patiently. "Who is this for?" she asked, while opening it.  Inside was a letter, in pure Chinese.  She glanced at the name of the receiver and at the name of the sender.

_Thank God, Chriko taught me some Chinese, otherwise I won't be able to read this letter, this letter from non other then Hotohori.  Hm…he does seem to have his ways does he not.  What perfect timing…I was just thinking of him.  Well, I'm glad I can read this, and what have to bother my other Seishi about this…Besides, he might have written something private, I wouldn't want to embarrass both of us by running up to a boy genius, or any one for that matter.  Well I wonder what he wrote.  From the type of person I know him as, Hotohori's probably worried about me and just wanted some kind of sign that I was alright._

Miaka glanced down at the letter and then began to read.

My dearest Miaka, 

 How are you?  How are the Seishi?  I hope you guys are getting along.  As always I am extremely concerned and worried about your well-being.  I know it's been less then two weeks since we were together…but my mind can think of nothing else but you.   All I wish to know is that you are safe and have been treated with utmost respect from your Seishi.  I know they are honorable, loyal and good-hearted men, but I still wish for some sort of reassurance.   I truly regret not being about to travel on this journey with you, and watch over you as I should have, as my duty as your Seishi is unfulfilled….

            Yet, I am still happy to inform you that I have found a way past that.  The bird, which delivered this message to you, is no ordinarily bird.  It is a phoenix.  The queen of all birds, a bird which is unlike any other, for she portrays, strength, and loyalty and possesses magical powers… She is one of my most prized possessions, the others being my mirror, my hair, and my beauty….just kidding…the other is her male counter part. I am please to say that she has never failed me in any task yet, or disappointed me in anyway.  That is why I am sure you will receive this letter, and hopefully we can stay in touch this way….

            Lastly, I want to keep up with your progress of retrieving the Shinzahos…I hope there was no problems and if there was any that it would be fixed.  I prey to you often and wish that you would return soon and that you will have a safe journey.  May Suzaku be with you….

Love,

            Hotohori 

            Miaka reread the letter a couple of times.

            _He does, he does care about me.  At least there are still some people who care about me, unlike some people who are always so jumpy about the slightest thing._

            She smiled, as for the first time she realized that perhaps Tamahome wasn't quite right for her.  That perhaps there was somehow else who cared more about her then he did.  Maybe that decision was because she just had a fight with Tamahome, and then received some comfort from another man who she knew perfectly well that loved her.  Yet, Miaka did not know.  All she knew was that right now, at this point she was really upset with Tamahome and his recent behavior.  She was glad to hear from someone else for a change.

            "So you are a phoenix eh?"  Miaka asked as she scribbled down a reply letter, and tied it onto the birds leg. "I hear Hotohori treasures you….you must be really proud…." The phoenix chirped in agreement, making Miaka smile.  "Well I want you to take this back to him…..and let him take time for his reply…"   Miaka reached out, patted its head, and then watched it soar off into the night.

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I hope you guys liked it!  Was it good or bad? Tell me what you think!  Feedback appreciated…Remember to **Review**!!


	2. Chapter 2

The Golden Phoenix 

**Written by**: Hoshihikari4ever

**Summary: **Miaka exchanges letters with someone "back home" during her and the Seishi's journey to obtain the Shinzaho. The story is mostly told through Miaka and her correspondent's point of view.

**Spoilers Warning: **the whole series….major spoilers from season 2 and up and Fushigi Yuugi Gaiden novels….Suzaku Hi Den (Hotohori's novel….I only read the summary so please forgive me if it is inaccurate, it would help if anyone can be so kind to give me a translation of it in English!)

**Author Note:** Remember to check out my bio! Sorry this took so long! I'll try to update sooner!!

**Please Read and Review! **

**Parings: **Miaka and Hotohori

Chapter 2 

            Hotohori,

                             I've received your letter. Please excuse my poor Chinese, and the sloppy writing. Chriko's taught me a bit, and I promise you I'll learn more, just so that I could read your letters….

That phoenix which sent me the letter is very beautiful. I hope its counter part its keeping you company, when I could not. Hehe…Did you name these magnificent birds? If you haven't I've got a few suggestions…Anyways… I'm glad that we'll be able to keep in touch this way.  

Much has happened since the Senshi and I set off to find the Shinzaho.  We've finally reached Hokkan. Throughout the journey, we've only been attacked once. Don't worry, I'm alright though. I fought Soi, the only female Seiryuu Senshi, off with your Holy Sword.  IT was my first battle, but quite successful. 

However, another thing has come up.  I didn't tell any of my Senshi yet, but I'm dying to get some feedback. Well, I think I've told you before, that I have an older brother name Keisuke. Well, somehow, he and I were able to talk, during the ship journey.  The other Senshi have no idea, cause I was alone in my room at the time. Anyways, an interesting topic came up.  Like any older brother might be, he's been very, extremely worried about me. I told him, I was ok, and that you and the other Senshi would take care of me. It took some time to convince him, but I think I was able to do so.  He's even worst then Tetsuya…oh that's his best friend…

Well…the topic of summoning Suzaku was brought up. Do you know anything about it? No…not the part of how to summon, and what is to be done during the summoning.  I want to know if you know anything of what happens after the summoning.  Do you know anything about that? Like if I'm going to be…to be…consumed by the beast God…?  Or would I just return to the other world…I don't want either of those things to happen…I don't want to leave any of you…and especially not the first one…I don't want to think of it like that…

            There's one more thing…I…I…I…had a fight with Tamahome again.  It's really recent, and so far the worst one I've had with him.  Don't laugh, but we fight over the most ridicules subject. I…I don't know who to turn to…the other Senshi have no idea.  I know you might be tired by now…tired of me running to you with my problems. It's just that I feel comfortable talking to you about them.  I hope you know what I mean….

            Well, the fight, which I had with Tamahome, was really stupid. It happened, right before your phoenix appeared, just as you would if you were here…Whell, as you might know Tamahome 's been a little overprotective and I think he's jealous about something…perhaps about losing me…

            Anyways, after my battle with Soi, using your sword, he's been making a big fuss over it.  Oh please! He should be happy like the other Senshi…. celebrating or so…about me being safe and my battle. No…. He isn't, and hasn't been please about it at all.  In fact, we had an argument over it…Just that, that simple thing about 'who' gets to rescue me, and how he should be the 'only' one to protect me and stuff… He goes on and on…. rants on and on about it….

            That's still aside the point.  It's not my fault, of him ranting and all.  I could as easily shut myself out from it, and not be offended by any of it.  I tried that…except it kept getting worst and worst.  Something so small, suddenly flamed into something really big.  My temper just went.  I totally snapped after he started disking you.  He really blew it after that. All the you being his 'love rival' and stuff…. and that's only the beginning of it.  I'm not going to say anymore…. cause I think its inappropriate for me to even consider rewriting all those words that he used…

Then afterwards, when your bird showed up…and started 'attacking' me…really I thought she was doing so…. he just stood there and watched coldly, muttering something like 'Why don't you pull out that sword of his and swing at it.  Maybe some miracle would happen and this time prince charming would magically appear out of thin air and rescue you from….let me see…an attacking bird…!' That really blew me off…that was my last straw.

Jesus! I don't know how long I can stand him…It's just getting worst and worst.  

Still I think you know what I mean. I think our relationship has ended.  There's no way I'm going to go out with someone who's going disrespect my friends………

Well…I think I've ranted on long enough.  Enough about me….

How are you?  I hope you're alright and not missing me so.  That teddy bear which I gave you…I hope its keeping you company…

This journey, it might not take too long after all.  I can't wait until we return back to Konan.  As I said before, the Senshi and I have already made it to Hokkan.  This is the place where the Genbu Shinzaho is supposed to be.  Once we find it, we can move southwest to Sairo, where the Byakko Shizaho is. 

Take care of  yourself Hotohori…I don't want you worried sick about me.  I promise you I'll be alright.  The other Senshi…minus Tamahome's been really good to me and to each other.  I think our bond grew stronger, and its still growing…

Miss you,

            Miaka Yuuki

            He closed his eyes, after rereading the letter. Finally he reopened his eyes, folded the letter.  He walked over to one of his drawers, and pulled it out. After searching a bit, he found what he was looking for.  A box, with Suzaku engraved on it, quite protectively. He opened the box, slipped the paper inside and then replaced it within his drawer.

            In a way, Hotohori was happy that he had received the letter. Yet some, information was quite disturbing, especially the part about Tamahome.

            _Tamahome…you better not be hurting Miaka in any way.  I won't forgive you for it…_

Opening another draw, Hotohori took out stacks of scrolls.

            _The legend of Suzaku, and its Miko, I know so well…Yet Miaka's sudden question, I have no answer to…I must do some research.  After all, she has entrusted me with a task…I must accomplish it._

            With that in mind, Hotohori started flipping through book after book, trying to find a decent answer for Miaka. 

            _Hmm…interesting…I've never thought about that question.  What would happen to the Miaka once Suzaku is summoned?  The legend says that she'll return to her world.  Yet, I do not wish her to do so…I wonder how much Keisuke knows about the legend.  What in the world, did he mean, when he said that the beast God would consume her? Is she like a tribute?  I must answer to questions…must find it for not only Miaka's sake and safety, but for me as well…._

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Done….Short chapter I know….Hope you all liked it! **Read/Review!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

The Golden Phoenix 

**Written by**: Hoshihikari4ever

**Summary: **Miaka exchanges letters with someone "back home" during her and the Seishi's journey to obtain the Shinzaho. The story is mostly told through Miaka and her correspondent's point of view.

**Spoilers Warning: **the whole series….major spoilers from season 2 and up and Fushigi Yuugi Gaiden novels….Suzaku Hi Den (Hotohori's novel….I only read the summary so please forgive me if it is inaccurate, it would help if anyone can be so kind to give me a translation of it in English!)

**Author Note:** Remember to check out my bio! Sorry this took so long! I'll try to update sooner!!

**Please Read and Review! **

**Parings: **Miaka and Hotohori

Chapter 3 

            Miaka, 

                        It's OK. Your Chinese is perfectly fine. Don't worry about it. I'm sure by the time you return it will have improved greatly.  It's good that you learned my country's language….it is good, yes very good.  May I suggest learning more about this world, its culture….everything…everything about it….just the way I wish to learn all about you and your world….For….for…one day…for…for one day…..I would want to….want to….want you to….Never mind….its for the best that you learn. 

            I'm glad you like the phoenix. It's beautiful isn't it? A wonderful magnificent bird. She's quite adorable whereas her male counterpart is strong and quite protective.  It's too bad you never seen them both together….a perfect match, a beautiful destined couple….something that I hope one day we can become….Anyways…. yes… both phoenixes have names, names which I came up with at the age of fourteen, they were presents given to me as I ascended onto the throne. The female is Mika . The male is Sei. Mika, coming from the word Miko, by changing the 'o' to and 'a'.  It must have been a coincidence that if I add an 'a' to Mika right in the center of the word, Miaka is formed, the 'a' stands in the center of the word just the way you are the center of my universe. Sei, comes from me, meaning 'star', my Senshi kanji. So yeah….these phoenixes have given me hope, hope to believe persuade my dreams that one day….one sweet day the symbolic meaning of the birds will surface….and it'll come true…

            Finally, at last at Hokkan. I'm glad to hear that there were not many complications. I'm so proud of you Miaka for your first lone battle. You just don't know how proud I am.  My only regret is not being there, to watch over you….and protect you…the way I should be….If I was not tied down to emperor duties….then I swear I would not let you out of my sight. 

            First off, I don't mind you coming to me with your problems about anything. You know that I'll always be here to listen, comfort and give advice to you….Just to make that clear.

            Miaka, I don't know what to say. I don't know how to act. When it comes to you and Tamahome, all I could think of doing is killing him for hurting you….making him pay dearly for what he has done. I know it won't make the situation better, but I can't help it, but think of ways ridding of him, and now…you've given me the perfect excuses for doing so. I know you might hate me, just for mentioning it, and I won't mind if you do….It's just that I need you to know that I won't let anyone hurt you….no matter who it is.  You understand that? 

            Perhaps you came to the wrong person to ask for help and advice. Maybe someone like Chichiri would be better, at least he won't have a temper, which I know that I do, and so I will not deny it. I always seem so helpless whenever you ask me, I always try to help, but I find that its impossible….I try to comfort you, but just end up hurting you more….something that I can never forgive myself for doing….However….I will try to sooth you….I will be here for you…waiting….

            If you want to talk about him, I will try to do so….I will listen as I have always done so. If it makes you feel better, I will confront him for you when you guys come back. 

            Here's my piece of advice for you, on this subject matter. I want you to give the relationship a break.  Do you understand me?  It's obviously not working, so don't force it. In other words, just break up. It's better this way.  This should stop before it gets worst. If he continues to hurt you, then tell me, and I'll confront him ok?  Remember….you are the Suzaku no Miko, he is a Suzaku Senshi, therefore, his purpose in life is to protect and serve you….the same as the rest of them….and of course me. You are the supreme one, the superior and the almighty, chosen by Suzaku himself. Tamahome should understand that, and so should the rest of them, and we as your warriors, yes, that includes me, the emperor, for I too am a Senshi, shall obey your every wish.  If your wish is to separate from Tamahome, then there is nothing that he can do about it. 

            Alas….here we are. Finally, the topic of Suzaku. Yes, Miaka, I have done a bit research. Your brother Keisuke, partly found out the answer.  It is possible that maybe he might know the legend better then I do. Yes, I too have an answer for you. I myself am not fond of it.  I am highly disturbed by it. I will not lie to you, for I cannot bring myself to do so. Yet, it is bad news, I do not know if I can bring myself to tell you.  Right now, I am in denial. It's a lie, it must be a lie, for I cannot accept the fact, I will not bring myself to accept it.  * Sighs* However, accepting or not, is not up to me.  What will happen in the end, rest in your hands.

            What I am saying is….is…that two things can happen. Ok….Miaka, before I tell you this, I want you to know some things ok?  It's very important, for I will not risk the chance of losing you to Suzaku. 

1) You are strong.  You are a strong will person.  Don't ever think that you're weak, because you are not.  You're the one who pulled us all together, who held us together. Don't think that you're worthless, and that you always need protection.  That isn't true.  You….you are stronger then any of us. The senshi has physical/magical strength, you have a strong heart, a strong mind. 

2) You are not alone.  Never….never….never believe that you are alone in this. Trust me, I know, no one should be forced to live a lonely life, especially you. Never believe that, do you understand me.  There are always good times, and bad times, ups and downs. There are always going to be twists and turns. Remember….you're not alone in this.  You aren't fighting a lone battle.  We will always be here for you, Suzaku, Senshi, your mother, your brother…. We will always be here for you.  We'll pull through this together. 

3) Never give up. As I said before, there will be rough times ahead. It is impossible to live a life where everything is perfect.  There will be times when hope seems lost, when the path ahead is completely dark. Don't give up. Just because Yui's on the other side doesn't mean that the world would end.  In time, she will see who her real friends are. When Tamahome turned evil, you didn't give up on him, and so, he is back. Though Konan, is currently at war, and fighting a losing battle, I will not give up, or lose hope.  Dying, giving up is not the answer. Nothing will be gained, though much will be lost. Fight, fight for what is right, fight, for life, fight for love.  For as long as there is light, there can be no darkness. 

4) Follow your heart. Follow your instincts.  It will lead you down the right path. Hard and difficult times lay ahead. Choices must be made. Choose wisely.  Listen to your heart, and it will guide you out of the dark times. Sometimes, the right path is not the easiest one. 

Miaka…. remember that.  I want you to know that. Now…you might be wondering why I'll write all this down, when you should know it. Its just a reminder, just to tell you something that you should know.  These are very important characteristics and traits.  Its what makes you who you are.

Miaka….listen carefully….I mean read this next part carefully. It is what I found about what happens after you summon Suzaku.  There are two possibilities. 

1) You will return to your own world and this world will forever be sealed from the other.

2) You will be consumed by the beast God, in other words, Suzaku himself, will take you as tribute.

Now Miaka, Don't panic.  I don't want you telling any of the other Senshi's about this.  This is strictly between you and me.  I must do some more research on this.

I am highly disturbed by this, but mostly by the latter. I cannot live with either.  I can't, won't let myself accept either. The former seems better, but then we, the Senshi and you will be forever separated. I cannot afford that to happen, not when I've waited my whole life for you, only for you to disappear again.  It just won't happen. The latter, I don't even want to think about.  To offer you up as tribute?  Then I'll rather surrender all of Konan, just to have you NOT summon the beast God. The latter will defiantly not happen.  I will not let either happen.  However, it is not up to me to decide.  For it is you.  You must have a strong will, you must stay strong, and you must keep the qualities that I have just mentioned above.  Why? You ask me. The answer is simple.  

I have done some research.  All this is based on the past two summoning of the Beast God. Since Suzaku isn't summon, it is impossible to be sure of what might happen.  So, instead, I went for another source.  I searched up the past two, to compare and I have come to some startling information. Some is fact, some I have concluded myself. 

The fact to the Miko remaining pure has to do with the summoning. During the summoning, at least this is true for the two past ones,  the Beast God had combined itself with the Miko and therefore becoming one with it, the Miko became the link between the heavenly and earthly world. The beast God, will not accept a touched body. 

So…back to summoning the beast.  It is said that after the last wish is made, the Beast will appear, Suzaku himself will appear. In being so, he takes the Miko's body, like a tribute, and then leaves behind a relic of the summoning, in this case….it is the Shinzaho. So….it is possible that Keisuke could have know this, and therefore, like any brother would be worried about his sisters safety, especially since there is a chance of losing you forever….

Those were the facts, it happened in both the previous summoning, so there is no reason to think otherwise.  However, as you read before, I have come with two situations when in contact with the God.  The second, is something that I have formulated myself, so the latter possibility that it may be true is like zero. 

Over 200 years ago, in Hokkan, Genbu was summoned. A girl from your world, Takiko Okuda, was her name. Legends say, legends that were passed down say that she had returned to the other world. However, I have a suspicion that something bad must have happened to her.  I think that Genbu consumed her, after the last wish. Of course, there is no evidence, but it was said that she disappeared after the summoning, directly afterwards.  Some say she returned to her world, but I don't believe that it was true.  For as you read on, that was not the case with the Byakko summoning.  

Byakko was summoned in Sairo about 90 years ago, by a girl name Suzuno. She two had combined with Byakko after the summoning.  However, unlike Takiko, she did remain in Sairo for a brief period of time after the last wish was made. How long, I am not sure, but she did not directly disappeared.  It's rumored, that she had time to say good-bye to her Senshi.  There was time for a brief union, and an assurance form Byakko that she will return to her own world. 

It is because of this that I have formulated the two possibilities. I believe that Suzuno was probably stronger then Takiko. She probably was loved, she probably had loved. There was a reason for living, for fighting.  I believe that, that was why the God did not consume her. 

            Miaka, you are strong.  You won't be consumed by Suzaku.  I swear, I won't let that happen.  However…Yui…your friend….that's s different case.  I know its not it my place to say this, but I think you must fight your friend.  No matter how hard it is, you must not lose to her, or let Seiryuu win.  The only way you can save her now is to summon Suzaku and wish for it. There is no talking, best friend thing anymore.  You must understand this. If Seriyuu is summoned, if you let that happen, then Yui will be lost forever, for she is not as strong as you.  

I bet it doesn't make any sense to you eh?  No matter, this is an answer, the decent one that I could find. I will look into the subject more clearly, and in the meantime, don't worry about it alright. Nothing…nothing bad will happen, I won't let it happen.  Just focus on finding the Shinzahos and coming back unharmed. 

Take care of yourself Miaka. Don't let this bad news get to you. 

Sincerely, 

Hotohori

P.S. 

Oh yeah, one more thing. Be careful around the Genbu and Byakko warriors. It is said that the Shizahos are being protected by them.  How? I am not sure. They should be dead, for no one is older then 100 let alone 200. There is no such thing as immortality. Sprits? Maybe.  Reincarnation? Possible. Anyways, Miaka, whatever they are, be careful if you meet them. I don't really know anything about Genbu and Byakko, aside from the fact that they were summoned successfully. Their Miko, I only know by name, their Senshi, I know nothing. I am sure though, I am positive that the Shinzaho will be protected one way or another. How, I do not know. By the warriors, I would say impossible, but that is the rumor.  The rumor in Hokkan is that long after the Miko has disappeared, two of the Genbu warriors will remain to watch over their Miko's procession, the Genbu Shinzaho.  In Sairo, it is said that the Miko's beloved will be the one to remain, the one to watch over the Shizaho. 

Miaka stared wide-eyed at what she had just read. Her heart was pounding uncontrollably. 

No…No…no…it can't be true.  My worst fears can't be true. First, Keisuke, then the old townsmen, and now Hotohori…That's three different people, totally different, who live a life in completely different words, telling me the same thing.

She couldn't help but reread the part about summoning Suzaku, and its possible consequences. 

~ Flashback~

            "Thank you….I don't know how we could ever thank you enough for saving my child…."  The townsmen began. "Yes…yes…we are very grateful indeed." The mother of the child replied.

            "Nah….it was nothing…." Tasuki said, his hand running through his hair. "Just doing what any guy would….That kid, he would have fallen off the horse…."

            Miaka watched the fierily bandit, who seemed to be blushing at being flattered. 

            _Hm…if Tamahome was here…If he didn't leave…then I bet it would have been he who would have saved the child_

Chichiri placed a hand on the younger, enthusiastic man's shoulder. 

            "Yes….How can we ever repay you…."  "Well…we're travelers no da….it would be nice for a place to stay for the night…."  "Certainly….I'll have a tent prepared for you all….it will be an honor to have the Suzaku no Miko and her Senshi to stay with us…."

            Miaka's eyes widen, and so did her other Senshi.  "How….how…did you know…."  "Well…rumors…spread quickly around here….We receive news from all over….including other empires. It's said that both Konan and Kuto have sent their warriors and Miko out to find some sort of Holy relic of the other two summoning…."  "Yes….its called a 'chin-ze-hole'." "Shinzaho…Miaka….Shizaho no da….."  "Oh yeah…."

              "Ah….yes…the Shinzahos….." The towns head nodded.   "It is said to be a turtle…."  "A tortoise….with snakes…."  "A turtle….How much do you know…." "A tortoise….I know the legend better then you do…!!"  "Oh yeah…I am the towns head….I'm the wise one…."

            "They sure seem to know this well….."  Miaka nodded at Nuriko's comments. 

            "Anyways….it's a necklace…." "Hairpin!!"  "Necklace…" "Hairpin!!" "You….know what…just get out!"

            "Sounds much like you and Tamahome….huh Tasuki no da…." Tasuki choose to ignore those words. 

            "So anyways…whatever it is…I'm not sure anymore.  However…You will find more information in the city….."  "I see….."  "Um….can I ask you something…."  Nuriko spoke up.  "Yes…."  "What…what happened to the Miko after Genbu had been summoned…"  Miaka opened her mouth and then turned to look at Nuriko.   "I….I think she returned to the other world….I am not sure…."

~Flash back end~

            _I wonder…I wonder what it was that made Nuriko asked the question. Oh well…I should ask him tomorrow…The answer, isn't what I had hoped for, but it is one.  I wonder what Hotohori had meant…_

"Miaka!!  Oh Miaka!!!"  Miaka hastily stuffed the letter away.  She squinted in the dark, trying to see where the voice was coming from.  "Miaka!  There you are…Don't just run off like that….."  "I'm sorry Nuriko…." She replied, as she took a step before Mika, shielding her from the man's sight.

            "What you got there…?"  "Huh?"  "Behind you….."  "It's nothing…" Nuriko looked unconvinced. With a swift movement, he was behind her.  Miaka spun around, hoping to block the bird, but then was shocked to see that Nuriko was also in a shock mode.

            "Mika…?  Mika…"  he murmured.  This time, it was Miaka who seemed shocked.  Not knowing what to do, she scoped the bird in her arms, cradling it protectively.

            "So…I see….I see how it is…."  And then she noticed it.  A gigantic smile spread across the man's face. "Nani…?  What is it Nuriko….?" She asked curiously.  "Just…as I predicted to…."  "Predicted what…"   "I don't know….I guess I'm really happy for you….you one lucky girl…..!"  He stepped forward and scoped her in his arms. "Nani…Nuriko…your not making any sense….!"

            Nuriko stepped back a bit. Finally in a soft voice she mutter.  "Why didn't you tell me Hotohori was keeping contact with you…."  Miaka's eyes widened.  "How….how did you know…."  "That bird…." He paused. "was….given to Hotohori by my best friend…Houki…and the male counterpart….Sei…was given by me….on Heika's 14th birthday…the day which he had ascended onto the throne…."  Miaka was in awe….Even Hotohori hadn't mentioned that part to her. "and….he had said…that day…was that…. when the time is right….when the women in his dream comes to life….he will give this to her as a wedding gift…."  Now Miaka really couldn't say anything.  "and…he…has chosen you…."

            Nuriko closed his eyes.  Miaka didn't know what to say.  All of this was too much for her to handle. First, the fight with Tamahome, and the matter of Suzaku…and now…now Hotohori and marriage…

            "You…you aren't angry…."  Miaka finally said, after a long time.  "I didn't think…I didn't think that it was you who would tell me this….after, after all you said you loved Hotohori. I thought you would be jealous. You'll hate me…"  "Now…now why would I do that…Yes…I won't deny falling for the emperor….However…however" "However what?"  "After knowing you and stuff…I realize…realize how its impossible to not fall for someone like you…."  Before the words could be registered, in her mind, Nuriko pulled her close and gave her a kiss. Miaka, grunted, and then pulled away. She was looking at Nuriko with a shocking expression. 

            "Miaka…I…I…I'm sorry…." He said, a bit worried. Then he added. "Don't worry….I won't come between either of you…..You and Hotohori….you're the two I love the most, and I won't hurt either of you….."  Miaka was silent, but he could tell that she looked relived. 

            "Now…Miaka…you don't seemed surprised…..How long has it been?"  "This is only his second letter…..and ….I guess…I am not surprised. I guess….I've always known it…."  Nuriko nodded, understandingly. "Its just with Tamahome….." her voiced trailed off.  "Forget about him ne? Who knows where he ran off to…."  Miaka only nodded. "Besides….you won't need him.  You've got Hotohori to lean on….You've got the Senshi as friends…and you got me as your brother ne?"  "Anno….nani….?"  "You said…you've got an older brother right…well…he's not here now…I hope…I can be that older brother."  "but what about Korin?"  "Don't worry…you won't replace her…just as I won't replace Keisuke. Its just that….since the time I've known you….I've learned to regard you as more of that younger sister type eh….a more brotherly sisterly type of love eh?" Miaka nodded again.  "I hope…I hope you'll let me be that….."  Miaka. smiled.  "Of course Nuriko…." She flung her arms around his neck. Nuriko smiled.

            "Now Miaka….shall we return to the others… We have to leave early tomorrow morning. Yes….sure….after I write a reply…I'll make it quick…"  "Ok…take your time…."  Miaka rolled her eyes playfully.  "I need to take time…. you know how long it takes me to read and write Chinese….I'm still learning…."  Nuriko smiled. "Very well Mi-Chan…. Just make sure you get Chiriko to teach you…." "he is…"  "Good…good…."  Nuriko peered over her shoulder. With that….the two sat down under the night sky, with Nuriko helping, and teaching, and correcting Miaka.

****************************

Done at last!  Long chapter!! **Read/Review!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Golden Phoenix**

**Written by**: Hoshihikari4ever

**Summary: **Miaka exchanges letters with someone "back home" during her and the Seishi's journey to obtain the Shinzaho. The story is mostly told through Miaka and her correspondent's point of view.

**Spoilers Warning: **the whole series….major spoilers from season 2 and up and Fushigi Yuugi Gaiden novels….Suzaku Hi Den (Hotohori's novel….I only read the summary so please forgive me if it is inaccurate, it would help if anyone can be so kind to give me a translation of it in English!)

**Author Note:** Remember to check out my bio! Sorry this took so long! I'll try to update sooner!!

**Please Read and Review! **

**Parings: **Miaka and Hotohori

**Chapter 4**

Hotohori,

Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you mention that it was Nuriko who gave you Sei? You probably forgot didn't you…? You're probably wondering how I know…and how my Chinese improved so quickly. Anyways….its cause Nuriko showed up. Don't worry….he took the situation really easy. He's actually very happy…for both of us… We had a chat. Guess what? I've got a big brother now!! Another big brother. Yup that's right! Nuriko said he'll be my bro! Isn't that wonderful? Well, I think it is, especially since we've know each other for so long. He was one of the first, I've met here…

About Tamahome. I have no idea where he is. He left the group that night after we had our fight. I've kept the fight to myself, so one knows the truth, the other Senshi have no clue why he's gone. Sure, I really didn't think I'll need a telling twice. After what he did, and after what Nuriko said, and especially because of you… (Do note, I don't think I'm ready for what might be running in your mind now…I think I'll need some time, to think and reflect, and maybe know you better….) I think its time I gave him up….permanently. Actually, with him gone from my life, it isn't turning out that bad. With him gone, I actually got a chance to know the other Senshi better, each one of them.

Chriko, watching him and learning from his knowledge, practical knowledge, is just amazing. Watching Chichiri and spending time with Tasuki, is like mixing fire with water. They don't mix, but somehow, balance each other out. Mitsukake, is too quiet, he still keeps mostly to himself, but I'm trying to get to know him better. Well, with Nuriko, its been great. He's just the type of brother I need, the kind of person to talk to, one who does have my interest and won't thing I'm a drag.

On the topic of the summoning of Suzaku. I promise I won't let in bug me. I'm not going to mention much…. cause as I said before Nuriko's currently reading over my shoulders. Haha! You said not to tell anyone so I'll keep my mouth shut. Anyways, you are the third person to say kind of the same thing. First Keisuke, then the old towns head in Hokkan, and now you. I think there might be some truth in it after all…Don't worry, I won't let it bother me, however I'll keep it in mind, and keep my senses sharp and alert.

Well , not much to say now. I've already spent more then 2 hours writing this letter, with Nuriko keeping me company. It's getting late, and I'm tired. Besides, we're heading into the city tomorrow, to see if we can find some clues about the Shizaho. Tasuki and Chichiri already left ahead. Mitsukake and Chiriko are going to leave later on tonight. That leaves me and Nuriko to leave in the morning. Hopefully, this journey will end soon, its taking too long…I'll be happy when we end up back at the palace…

Oyasumi,

Miaka

Hotohori reread the letter a few times. He had hoped it to be a bit longer, since he, he had written a long lengthy one. He guessed he had expected the same, but was disappointed by it. Yet, he was happy. He was glad that Nuriko was taking over as a brotherly figure. He knew that Miaka needed someone like that, and he was glad that it was Nuriko who had took that obligation onto his own shoulders.

_Anno…yes…it has been a while. Four years, four years time since I had ascended onto the throne. It actually wasn't that long ago, yet I've totally forgotten who had given me phoenixes. However I do remember what I said that day, and it seems that I wasn't the only one. _

He gently pet Mika's head. "Would you like something to eat, while I write a response letter?" The bird chirped happily. Hotohori stood up, and Mika flew up to cling onto his shoulder. Slowly, the emperor walked back into his chamber.

"Hey!!! Hey!!! What the hell are you doing!!" "Please….please….please I…I have to see his majesty….please!!" "I'm warning you lady, get out of my sight before I lose my temper!!" "Please…please let me through….please…its very…very important…."

Hotohori sighed. The racket outside his room was disturbing his concentration. "Mika…its bothersome isn't it….why can't the palace be more quiet…." He turned slightly, but found that Mika was no longer on his shoulder. "Mika?" he asked. The birds cries let his attention onto the door. Mika was flying, swooping up and down, using its claw to attack the door, as if trying to open it. "Mika, what's wrong…." The phoenix, ignored him. Curiosity, grew in the emperor, for Mika had never acted that way before. Taking quick strides, he went to the door and opened it.

"No!! Get out of he--" The guard abruptly stopped as Hotohori stood at the door. "Your majesty…." The man said, as he bowed low, before standing up. "What's all this racket…." Hotohori asked, though he could hear from inside. "I'm sorry your majesty….but this woman wanted to see you….and I said no…." "and why not…" Hotohori asked, turning his head towards the man. "Uh…Uh…." "I will see her…." Hotohori muttered curtly. The guard seemed to be in aw for a brief moment, before recovering. "Yes your majesty…." He said, once more bowing, before excusing himself from the emperor's presence.

"Anno…I'm sorry for that…" Hotohori said kindly, now that the two were inside his room. Though there was another in his room, he was not looking at her, in fact had not even taken a look at her. His gaze was still outside the window. "Did you have something very important to say….?" He asked, reaching to pet Mika, but found her once again not perched on him. "Mika…." He muttered, extending his hand out. The phoenix, flew up to him, but instead of landing she swooped around him in a circle. Hotohori followed the bird, before finally noticing that she was perched on the newcomer.

"Nu….Nuriko!!???" He asked, shocked, that he hadn't noticed earlier that the one who was sitting before him was another Senshi. "How…how did you get back? Weren't you with Miaka and the others??" he asked again. "How is she…how is Miaka…"

"Anno…I'm sorry your majesty…but I'm not Nuriko…." The women before him said. "not Nuriko?" the emperor repeated. He squinted his eyes, and took in the women's appearance. The long purple hair, tumbled down her back, the light purple eyes. If it wasn't Nuriko then who could it be?

"Let me explain your majesty…." The women continued. "My name is Houki, I'm from your harem." There was another pause. "Yes…I know about Nuriko…and the reason I'm here is because of him…." Hotohori's eyes just grew in size.

"I think….I think he's in danger…."

* * *

Done! Short chapter! Oh well… Let's see…hmm…. Nuriko as Miaka's brother….and the appearance of Houki….hehe….things are starting to get going…..

Remember to **Review**!!!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**The Golden Phoenix**

**Written by**: Hoshihikari4ever

**Summary: **Miaka exchanges letters with someone "back home" during her and the Seishi's journey to obtain the Shinzaho. The story is mostly told through Miaka and her correspondent's point of view.

**Spoilers Warning: **the whole series….major spoilers from season 2 and up and Fushigi Yuugi Gaiden novels….Suzaku Hi Den (Hotohori's novel….I only read the summary so please forgive me if it is inaccurate, it would help if anyone can be so kind to give me a translation of it in English!)

**Author Note:** Remember to check out my bio! Please note that this chapter was taken and changed from chapter 14 of 'Love'. I regretfully say that I will discontinue writing 'Love'

**Please Read and Review! **

**Parings: **Miaka and Hotohori

**Chapter 5**

He was bleeding from head to toe. His vision was a blur. His blood soaked the snow. Each step he took towards the boulder, became harder and harder. _I must do this for Miaka's sake. Suzaku give me strength. Please!!!_ He gritted his teeth as he approach the boulder. He lifted his hands slowly and held on to the huge boulder. _Miaka, I'll do this for you. I'll do this for your sake._ An image of Miaka's smiling face flashed through his mind. He gave a sigh, and glanced down at his own body. The teeth bites from the beast sunk deep into his flesh. The blood poured out of him. At once he knew his life was slipping away from him. _Miaka…forgive me. Please understand why I did this. I did this for your sake._

"Nuriko! Please…please stop!! You'll die!" Miaka yelled from the sidelines, as she regained composure of the battle between her Senshi and Ashitari.

"Miaka…don't worry about me ok….I'll get this boulder away…and you can….the rest of you can get the Shinzaho…"

His body shook a bit, and he knew that he didn't have much time. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated on what he knew would be his last and final task.

_Dam this boulder! If I could just get it out of my way!_

He mentally slapped himself for thinking but not acting. "Please Suzaku, give me strength…!" he yelled as he lifted up the enormous mass. He threw it to the side, crushing the beast that he had just fought against. He panted, staring at his success.

Miaka ran up to her third Senshi, as his body shook and fell, collapsing in front of the massive doors, which she knew would lead them to the Shizaho.

She ran up to him, lifting him up slightly, so that his head rested on her knees. "Nuriko….Nuriko…" Miaka sobbed. "Hang in there…" Nuriko whipped away the tears which fell on him. "Sh…Miaka…it'll be alright…neh…" The man painfully tilted his head to the side.

"Do you remember Miaka….the old times….with me, Tamahome…and Hotohori…just….just the four of us…" "Nuriko….." "How…could I forget…?" "Remember….remember…them….as long….as long….as I'm in your memory…I….I will live on…"

"No Nuriko!! No! You'll be fine…You won't die! You can't die!! You're strong….you won't lose to death…." "Mia…Miaka…I don't regret doing what I did….I'm proud…I'm proud that I lived my life the way…..the way I did…I'm proud to be your Senshi…." Nuriko coughed, as blood spluttered out.

He touched her face, feeling the tears on her cheeks, whipping them away. "Sh… don't cry…it's not the end. I know we'll meet again soon." "No….No….You're not going to die! Nuriko! Don't die!!" He chuckled softly, as if he did not hear her. "I'm going to miss you Miaka…going miss you a lot. You know take care of yourself. I've cause you some much pain in the past, breaking you apart form Hotohori-sama…can you forgive me….?" "Of course Nuriko!!" "Can you tell him that too, ask for my forgiveness?" "No, you are going to do that! You'll tell Hotohori yourself. You'll come back with us, after we find the Shizaho's and you'll tell him that yourself!!" Nuriko shook his head. "I don't have much time…I know it…"

Using his hand, he felt for something. Painfully, he took it out. "Miaka…fire it…the others will be here shortly…" Miaka nodded, as she pulled the firecracker, and fired it into the sky. "Hang on…Nuriko…Mitsukake….he'll be here soon….please…."

Still, she felt the life drain out of her friend. "Miaka….take….take…..car….care…of your….yourse…..and….take….care of….hei…heika….for…..for….." "Nuriko!!!" Helplessly, she sat stunned as her best friend died.

Miaka, didn't know how long she sat, sobbing and crying…calling out to her friend….with no response…

A cry caught Miaka's attention. Flying towards them was a phoenix. "Mika…." Miaka cried out, surprised that the bird was this fast, for she had only sent the last letter three days ago.

The bird hooted as it soared down on her, landing gracefully next to her. As always, there was a letter, but Miaka was in no mood to read at this particular moment. Instead, she turned the letter over and using the blood, which surrounded her, wrote two words onto it.

"Please…get this back to Hotohori as soon as possible." She tied it on. Whipping away her tears, she took off Nuriko's bracelets…the one that Taiitsukun had given him, tying them securely onto the phoenix.

The bird lowered its head, in sorrow, as if it understood the situation. Minutes, slowly ticked by and then the bird flew off. Miaka wonderend briefly why the bird went off in such a rush, but then realized that people and horse were approaching.

"Miaka!!!" Tasuki was the first to reach her. She looked up at him, before, bounding onto him, and then sobbed uncontrollably. "He's dead…..He's dead…." was all that she could say.

The other Senshi eventually showed up, shock to find their friend and companion dead.

There was no words to describe the pain, so silence took over. Mitsukake restored Nuriko's body so that he looked as though he was sleeping. Working together, they managed to bury and then pay their respects to their friend.

A hand touched Miaka. "We must move on….He would not have want us to dwell on the pain and sorrow, but to move on no da…." Miaka nodded numbly, as she buried herself in his arms, taking confront from all the Senshi.

* * *

Grief swelled throughout his body. His hands shook, at the letter and bracelets that he held onto tightly.

The letter was short, brief, filled with both tears, blood and water.

He's dead

That was all that it was, but its message was clear and shocking.

_Nuriko…thank you…_

* * *

So how was it? Sad….** Review**!


	6. Chapter 6

**The Golden Phoenix**

**Written by**: Hoshihikari4ever

**Summary: **Miaka exchanges letters with someone "back home" during her and the Seishi's journey to obtain the Shinzaho. The story is mostly told through Miaka and her correspondent's point of view.

**Spoilers Warning: **the whole series….major spoilers from season 2 and up and Fushigi Yuugi Gaiden novels….Suzaku Hi Den (Hotohori's novel….I only read the summary so please forgive me if it is inaccurate, it would help if anyone can be so kind to give me a translation of it in English!)

**Author Note:** Remember to check out my bio! So sorry for it to have taken so long! Gomen nasai! Sorry! The first and foremost reason for this late update is because of my HP fic 'The Reign of Darkness'. It was this close pinches fingers together to finishing, and so for a time, I paused all off my other fics to complete it (in which I am happy to say is complete). After that well, other HP ideas popped up and just had to put it onto paper. So did that. By the time that had settled, well, ideas for my FY stories ceased and became fragments, though the original idea for all of them are still here. As I said, it wasn't there, so I paid less attention to it, until now, when I've finally gotten some reviews good enough to encourage me to sit down and concentrate on it. It's all thanks to my reviewers that this fic is back up and running!

**Please Read and Review! **

**Parings: **Miaka and Hotohori

**Chapter 6**

Grief swelled throughout his body. His hands shook, at the letter and bracelets that he held onto tightly.

The letter was short, brief, filled with tears, blood and water.

He's dead

That was all that it was, but its message was clear and shocking.

_Nuriko__…thank you_

Hotohori sat there, grief stricken, suddenly unable to eat. He had barely touched the dinner that was laid out before him. In fact, he had barely sat comfortable enough to enjoy his meal.

"Heika-sama Are you alright…?" One of the guards asked. The emperor didn't reply for a long time. "We are not hungry…" was all he said, though a soft growl from his stomach defied his words. The guard spoke up hesitantly, "but sire, Lady Houki awaits in the dinning room." Hotohori waived the man off, not taking in the word that was being said. He was suppose to dine with Houki tonight as his advisors said it would be good for him. The emperor knew better. It was just an excuses for those old men, who wished nothing more for him to marry and bear and child.

"We shall reside early for the night. We are tired." The guard opened his mouth to protest, but the look Hotohori gave him, closed it. "We shall reside…" he repeated, harshly. "Yes, hekia-sama." The guard didn't know what else to do, but bow and leave. Hotohori didn't mean to be cruel. Yet, numerous emotions, thoughts and feelings boiled in his veins. He was overcome with grief and worry. The emperor, hadn't wanted to postponed the dinner either for it was better then spending more time with his advisors. He had to admit it was a good change. Yet, at this moment in time, he had no mood to do anything but think and let grief consume him.

Taking Mika, the letter and the bracelets with him, he retreated into the solitude of his chambers. That night, he had a restless sleep, plague by a dream that seemed all too real, only to wake up panting heavily in the middle of the night. Trying to push the nightmare of his friend's death out of his mind, he twisted and turned in bed until slumber took him once more.

The next morning, Hotohori woke with sunshine streaming down his curtains, reflecting off his closed eyes. He stayed that way, bathing in the warmth of the sun, in his bed until it was way past waking hours. He didn't want to get up for that would mean facing reality, which at this point was harsh cruel and cold. Still, he could not think, by sleeping, lying in bed, so he stood and started pacing instated.

He let himself lie in bed and sleep in for the longest time, grieving and sullen. The death had hit hard, too hard, where and when he had least expected it, causing it to be a devastating blow.

_Ok, take that back. I was expecting it. Houki had warned me only days before. Houki had deliberately said he was in danger. Danger, but not life threatening there was no mention about death. Nothing. No warning, no sign. Danger, how in the world would I know that such a thing could leave a permit scar. The Suzaku seven had tread through thin ice, so many times, and managed to pull through. It made no sense. What had made him fall? What had caused the ice to shatter and break?_

Hotohori continued pondering, question after question arouse, all of them unsolvable.

_Where were the other Senshi? Are they Ok? Is Miaka Ok? What exactly happened? _

Suddenly, nothing matter more to him then his companions safely and well being.

_Will they be alright? Would they be able to pull through with the task at hand, even if the rest are physically undamaged? Will they fall apart? Can they overcome this and move on to face the dangers that lie ahead. Oh Suzaku, if only I could be with them. Be with Miaka to replace that void that Tamahome and Nuriko had left. For once, being an emperor means nothing. I have complete power over a nation, and still I can't protect the ones I love._

_Why Suzaku why was I bless with such power, when in truth I am powerless. Why, why do I always have to watch those who I care the most suffer, my country, the Senshi, Miaka?_

The emperor did not get a reply. He was walking in circles, the way his questions came. So much had suddenly happened that he wasn't prepared for it.

First with Miaka and Tamahome's fight that still left the ogre's whereabouts unknown. Houki's sudden appearance and then Nuriko's untimely death. If he thought that he had it worst, he couldn't think just how Miaka was coping.

Miaka, and Nuriko. That was all that occupied his mind. Forget about Tamahome. He had long abandoned that man and had let the man do as he please, as long as he didn't hurt Miaka. Well technically, he had, but now he was gone, and that matter more to him then the former. The other Senshi had always come second when compared to the Priestess, and this was no exception, and it was how it would stay. Hotohori sighed. He would let the group deal with it themselves. Even if he wanted to help, he couldn't. What could he do? He was so far away, too far away for his liking. That left one problem. A problem that he tried to avoid: Houki.

_Houki__ How can I tell her? How can I bring her the news? It's obvious that you and Nuriko were close, so close that if things had been different, you would have been a wonderful couple. On top of that, it was rude for me to just throw her off like that. I mean, I'm the emperor, but still, I am not above basic manners and disciple. I still need to make it up to her. Maybe then, I could gently let her in on the news. Yes, that's what I'll do. Maybe do her a favor even, as long as it is appropriate. _

Having his decision made, he decided to leave his chamber and get through with it. It was nearly lunch and it would do good to dine with her, to make up for the lost dinner. Besides, he just wanted to get through with it. He didn't want more ideas to form in his advisors head.

Sighing deeply, he reluctantly left his chamber, wandering aimlessly down the hall. When he finally bumped into one of those advisors, or more like the other way around, as he had always been avoiding those loony old bats, the man pulled him aside and spoke first.

"Heika-sama!" The advisor pulled him aside. Hotohori could tell their were dark rings under the other man's eyes as if he did not have enough sleep.

"Yes? Make it quick. We do not wish for our precious free time to be wasted" The emperor inwardly smiled. He liked playing with his advisors and making them feel intimated. It was one of the very few ways that Hotohori had found that he could get-back at them.

"Last night, your majesty had agreed to dine with Lady Houki" The man seemed to hesitate as though thinking of how to phrase the following words. "and may I advise, that this does not happen again. As Emperor you must keep your word of honor…"

_This man was brave, bold and bright. It was no wonder mother had placed him as my highest advisor before she died. Though I was a puppet at that time, she knew that he would not allow me to be so afterwards. She had ensured my ascendance to the throne by placing him here. _

Waving a hand, Hotohori cut the man short. "I do keep my word of honor." "but Heika-sama, you promised to dine with Houki-sama"

_Persistent man, stubborn at times, yet that is how he gets his job done. _

"However at times, things come up and it must be dealt with first. The dinner can be proponed until further notice. We do keep our word of honor. It is just something came up and it must be delayed, that is all."

The advisor looked confused. Hotohori took a look at him, as though pondering if he should tell the truth.

"Last night, I was informed that Suzaku no Senshi Nuriko had died" came out in an awfully silent tone, but the advisor was able to pick it up word for word. He looked up at his emperor, startled, with questioning eyes.

"I will not say anymore. I myself am short on details. So do not think of pressuring, for it will be in vain." The advisor seemed to understand the solemnest of the atmosphere at the emperor rarely used 'I' and the painful tone that was spoken.

"so yes, we did not mean to delay the dinner. We merely had no appetite whatsoever and truly did not believe the importance of it, as it is minor to the magnitude caused my friend's death."

The advisor did not know what to say. "I am sorry heika-sama. If I could do anything, get you anything….anything at all…I did not understand the situation, please forgive me for assuming"

Hotohori shook his head gloomily. "I am fine" he let that linger, before starting again. The man would never understand. There was no way he could.

"However, you are correct in the fact that we must abide to what we say." A pause. "Very well. I will dine with Lady Houki tonight, but more because it is your wish then mines. You understand enough to know my take on matters such as marriage, no matter what others may think". There Hotohori had said it, making it clear for the thousandth time that he had no interest whatsoever on anything but the current war at hand, and even if he ever considered the idea at all, there was only one person that he would marry, and that was Miaka.

The advisor bowed deeply. "Thank you Heika-sama." Then after rising, he dismissed himself from his emperor's presence.

Hotohori stared after him, shaking his head slightly, as he headed back into his chamber to prepare for tonight. Waiting for tonight's dinner, he took out a quill, as well as a fresh sheet of paper. Not really thinking, he let himself write and write, pausing only later that evening to have his meal, before returning to complete the letter in which he then let Mika deliver to Miaka.

* * *

Once again! Sorry for the amount of time that elapsed between chapter 5 and 6. This is NOT a dead story. I've just haven't focused enough attention here (in which I promise I will change). Chapter 7 should be up shortly as I've begun to write again for this fic. Thank you for waiting and being patient! Please **Review**! 


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